I'm sure a lot of people would love to listen to it. And remember girls LOVE musicians Aww you have a duet? That's cute. Just try to make the best of it and have fun. Good luck!

Yeah, Mike is suprisingly comforting when it comes to class ranks, you know since he hardly ever says anything nice to me

Yeah today was extremely fun. I even saw your brother (not sure which one) with a girl from our school. I was so stupid and ecstatic I was like hey and waved (I don;t really know them) I told him to say hi to you. Hope he did I had to wait in line forever and I wore high wedges so I would be taller (so he can see me in the crowd and vice versa) and my feet hurt so much when I came home. I mean it was only 4 or 5 inches and I've had worse but it still hurt. lol it was worth it Today was probably one of the best days of my life and you just put the icing on the cake with your message.

Delix what you said was so sweet and it made me tear I think it's safe to say I love you because I'm just a rebound But seriously I mean it. Thanks so much for everything. You really did revive my faith and hope and I am so grateful. Your advice was really helpful and I'll always remmeber it. I think this is one of the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me. I've never really open up to anyone and it feels good to know I have a friend like you. Thanks delix, this means so much to me

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Yeah i think you would be the only one who would listen to it lol...

yeah i guess it is gud with asha...but the thing is that iv just learned to surpress my feelings...i feel exactly the same for her...idk...i realized that i have to sing with her at the conference...that should be interesting i guess...gona be hard for me tho...especially since its songs about love in my language...

yeah thats competing lol...but its ok cuz ur friends nd all...

yeah i am busy...nd yeah i hope i will have a blast...

aw im so sorry that happened...i of all ppl would understand especially since my life is based on it...its terrible that ur dads been planning things on sundays...he really should understand wat church means to u and ur mom...i guess thats one problem with marrying some1 who doesn't believe in the same things as u...its terrible that the parents in the church are feuding...the same thing happened to my church a couple yrs back...our church split up...one in dumont nd one in new milford...then finally both churches remerged nd ppl worked out there differences nd things are at peace now...im telling you this to give you hope...its terrible that you cant see ur friends...i know i would hate that especially since most of my friends are from church...i know how attached you can become to some ppl nd its hard wen things change...i really hope things will work out...nd i def will keep it in my prayers...jaynee please dont blame urself...ur church is not failing because ur not religious enough...i know u do ur best...sometimes its hard keeping with prayer and the faith...things around u (i.e. ur dad, ur friends) sometimes keep u from it but i dont think thats got anything to do with a church falling apart...even if ur not religious enough, u are such a nice person who does nice things and cares for others soooo much...but def pray about it nd keep faith...that will lead u and ur church in the right direction...i know its hard to stay happy wen this kinda thing happens but just try...keep ur faith nd hope...nd enjoy ur summer...i know its really hard now but u have to...im sure everything will end up being okay...u can dump anything on me anytime lol...i dont mind at all...u helped me in my tuff times and i wana be there for u too...nd especially in this situation i can relate...aw so u haven't talked to milcia...u guys should get together nd hang out...nd you dont have to say thank u for talking time me nd being there cuz u do the same thing for me...nd i know i can always rely on u...cuz ur an amazing person...

lol no. You know i'd listen to it. Take all the time that you want. Any way that's good with the whole asha thing. You seem to know what you're doing lol i'm not sure if competing is the right word. But remember he and I hold adjacent class ranks lol JK I honestly have no idea what to ask him. I'll just go with the flow. I hope it goes well Its great that you got to hang out with them. It's good to get away from your work once in a while. no your not boring, your just busy even busier than me. Wow! You've got a lot going on. All your plans sound fun. Hope you have a blast.

Ehh, my life's like a rollercoaster. Sorry to sound so gloomy but today my mom told me some suprising and sad news. First I have a confession to make. My mom and I haven't gone to church for the past month. My dad's been planning things on sundays and forcing my mom and me to miss church. It's not like he's against my church (even though my mom and dad go to different ones) it's just he thinks skipping church is no big deal and he puts certain things over church. Any way I was looking foward to going to church this week but then my mom told me some news. Remember how I said i go to connecticut for church sometimes? Well the church there and the church here kinda split due to different opinions based on our doctrine at a seminar. And what's worse is that the church here is divided even further. My mom didn't give me a lot of details but the pastors have personal supplemental probs with each other too. Our church was small to begin with. I mean you know you don't really hear about my religion. But now that its divided the church I'm going to consist of only three families, including mine. And with this feud I won't be able to see my friends from church because of all these divisions. My mom says its temporary but maybe its one of those white lies parents say, like everythings going to be alright when they don't even know what will happen. This is the worst news I probably ever recieved. Church and my family and friends in it mean everything to me. I just can't believe we're all divided. I feel so broken. I don't even know what was said or what went on since i haven't been there in a month. I'm not sure if it's a justified division but I wonder how my friends are taking it. I wonder if they're thinking we should split up or we should remain together (since their parents are doing all the fighting) I miss them so much and with this going on i'll probably be further away from them. I want to say this is just what the devil wants, to separate god's people and to weaken the church. I mean isn't it obvious we should stand together and praise god as one? Is it really that bad? I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like this is the great schism. I'm probably going to fast and pray that this all gets sorted out and my church is united again. I guess the church reflects its people and vice versa and right now I have had so many shortcomings to God. I'm not as religious as I should be and my church is falling. It's really hard to be happy and pretend everything is okay. You know everything I was looking foward to and everything I enjoyed doesn't make me content anymore. For instance, how can i be extremely happy and excited about meeting tom felton when i know my church is going through some problems? I don't know, I just hope this blows over and the church is one again. Sorry for dumping all of this on you. I just feel like your probably the only one i can tell this too. Your the first one too. I mean I could tell milcia but i haven't talked to her in forever because we are both so busy. Thanks for taking time to talk to me, and being there. =]

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no it was not cute...it was embarassing...nd i think sabina was maybe the only who thought it was cute lol...maybe when i get a chance ill record something...iv been soo busy so i think i wont have it done for a while...ud put it on ur ipod nd prob never listen to it lol...cuz its prob gona be bad...

ur probably right about asha...idk if ill ever get over her...its already been 4 months since that day i told her nd i still haven't gotten over her...idk wen we hang out its not awkward nd she seems ok...nd i usually try to ignore my feelings for her...im just gona give it time...if we're meant to be together itl happen...or some other grl will come along nd things will change...im just gona not think about it now

im glad i made u feel better lol...that is wierd...i guess we can relate because we've both nvr had relationships but we've had ppl that we like or like us...but u give gud advice nd u help me feel better

ur competing with mike lol?...thats gud that ur ahead but dont kill urself trying to get it done...again have sum fun and relax

im glad things worked out with adriana...its gud that u dont have to drive cuz now u can get more practice nd all...i can imagine u just embarassing urself lol...jk...u wont...ull have a load of fun...it seems like alot of fun...do u know wat ur gona ask him?...aw u have an extra ticket?...yeah nishas back from vacation nd im sure she'll go...idk who else u could ask...

thanks...i hope evrything goes well there...therz so much i have to get done...i still have one more week tho...

I actually did relax...kris, nisha, eta, t, kris' bf, nd her bf' friend went out to get dinner...it was fun

ur not boring...u just have alot of boring stuff going on...ie hw, volunteering, driving practice...its gud that things are getting better...

i have not been up to much either...work as usual...nd stuff for the conference...i guess im pretty boring too...but the conference is taking up alot of time...like therz a skit competition so I wrote a skit about St. Paul and im the director...so therz been practices for that...nd then therz a youth praise night...nd i have to lead nd figure out wat to do for that...then therz a cultural program thing...but that im just singin in so its ok...yeah so thats killed alot of time...lets see wat else...sat is my cousins baptism...after that i might go to this church b-ball tournament that alot of my friends are in...thats in ny...then sunday therz church nd i have to work like 12 hrs after i think...so how bout u?...trmws the thing right?...wat else? plans for the weekend?

aww thats so sweet awww maybe the other girls thought it was cute I'd really like that so I can hear you play. I'd even put them on my ipod

awwww delix your so cute with this asha thing i understand that you don't want to move on. It would be strange if you didn't. And I presume you don't want to forget about the way you feel about her. To be honest I don't think it'll get any better when she goes to college. I mean you'll probably stop liking her while she's gone but it's only temporary. Once she comes back for break your feelings will rekindle. You'll have to learn how to stop liking her while your seeing her. That way when you hang out with her you wont feel weird or hurt. See that's what happened with me and my second crush. Remeber he moved? I was completely over him that time. But when he came back I started crushing on him again. So you'll have to deal when your hanging out with her, which again wil be difficult. but don't count on her leaving for college to stop all your emotions.

Thanks delix, you always make me feel better about myself. But like i said i like talking to you about this stuff. It's funny though because I thought I'd never be helpful giving you advice with asha because I've never dated anyone. But I can relate to what you're going through with my three crushes. And about the homework, I know I've gone a bit overboard because i'm ahead of mike in doing our work. You know somethings wrong when mike isn't ahead.

I called adriana and I am so relieved. She offered me a ride and we are going together In case you can't tell I am so0o0o0o0o0o excited! I mean I can drive but I can't angle park which is pathetic. Its this friday and I hope I don't act like an idot or do something stupid when I meet him. We are not allowed to have cameras or ask him to sign anything. What will happen is we'll line up and he'll sign a poster and give it to us. Then there is a Q and A session in another part of the mall where we are allowed cameras. So i'll probably get to talk to him for like 2 minutes and I have no idea what to say. Vickie can't go since she is in seattle. And some bad news is Vickie, Adriana, and I were planning to go to the midnight show for half blood prince but adriana can't go because she has to go with her younger sister who is not allowed to be out at midnight. I'm okay with it and I understand but I really wanted all three of us to go and i already bought the tickets. Thus, I have an extra one and don't know who to invite. It will have to be someone Vickie and I are both friends with. I don't think we share a lot of friends who love harry potter. And I don't want anyone to feel like the third wheel. Any suggestions? I'd asl Vickie but since she is in seattle I don't think she wants any one to text her because of the different rates. Hey is nisha on vacay too? I'm not sure if the text i recieved about someone not returning until the 13th was from vickie or nisha.

good luck with the conference. It's cool you're going to hang out with kristelle. You should definately relax and go out. You should hang out with our friends and everything. You need a break and to rest too.

Nothing new really. Wow i'm extremely boring, sorry about that. My dad's nagging me to wake up early so we can practice driving. I have community service in the hospital he works in and I'll have to be able to drive myself there. But i start on the 27th or something so I've still got time. Things are getting better with the fam. Its been really quiet. I think my parents are just keeping the problems away from me. I don't think they want to tell me. But i guess its better that way because there is nothing i can do really, just feel bad. But everythings fine.

So what about you. What are you up to?

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Yeah Im not so gud at the responding thing either...sometimes things just come up nd i get soooo busy...but again its our only way to communicate...nd even if it is slightly annoying at times, its totally worth it to be able to talk to you...yeah iv been seeing asha ALOT...nd that doesn't make it easier to get over her...iv been seeing her almost every day...things are okay between us...we're friends nd things are gud...yeah i got hit in the face lol...we were playing baseball at a bbq on july 4th nd felix hit a home run right into my face lol...it was an accident...it hurt initially but its okay now...wat was worse was everyone asking me wat happened to my face...nd i kinda couldn feel my face for a gud 5 min so i think i started tearing without knowing it...nd asha nd other grls were there nd it was kinda embarassing...yeah piano is my thing...actually music as a whole...i just need to sing or get an instrument in my hands nd i love it...yeah uv never seen me play nd music is like one of the biggest parts of my life...maybe i'll record something nd give it to u...cuz idk wen u would be able to actually see me play...

yeah my weekend was rough...but now thinking about it, it was fun being able to hang out with my friends nd all...my grandpa ruined it but i think im gona have to learn to tolerate it cuz hez old nd he wont stop drinking...idk ill have to figure that out...

yeah the fam nd asha combined was hard but im better now...truthfully i dont want to move on...nd iv been trying so hard to but i cant nd im miserable because of it...its prob because of how much im with her nd her family...maybe wen she leaves for college things will change...meaning i wont see her as often so i can get over her...or it could go the other way nd ill miss her so much...watever im just gona give it time nd see wat happens...

yeah...ur totally being way too hard on yourself...you should spread ur work out more so u can have sum fun too...but i admire u for trying cuz it isn't easy to start work this early especially wen u have this much time...dont worry ur not complaining too much...im the one whoz always sulking about my family nd my love life...yeah because i like my job, i dont mind doing it...if it was school work or my funeral home job on the other hand i would hate it nd put it off..

so is adriana gona come with you...im sure ull be fine when u drive to the mall...the first time ur on ur on is scary but ull get thru it nd ull be fine...

yeah im planning on hanging with kris this week too...maybe tmrw actually...but iv been sooo busy with preparations for the conference...its so nerverecking nd i have so much pressure on myself...because of all this i havent been able to enjoy summer...i feel like im still in school having to get things done...tmrw isn't bad...i didn go to work for the past two days nd i hope i dont get fired cuz i just couldn't go in...aw nothign fun happened...well atleast uv been getting sum work done...so wen is the thing u wana go to with adriana?...anything new since the last post?...getting better at driving?...family things getting better?

Hey. Sorry I'm so bad at responding. Any way you seem to be seeing asha a lot. How are things between you guys? Good, I hope. Ouch, hit in the face? I hope your not seriously hurt. Is this normal between you and your brothers? It's cool that you resort to music. I'd really like to see you play the piano in person. Everyone says your an expert. But I'm sorry you had a rough weekend. Sorry about your grandpa too. I don't remember my grandfathers but I do know that they were both into drugs and drinking so I somewhat understand.

Awwww. The whole family thing and asha must have made things really hard for you. But can I ask you a question? Do you want to move on? Do you want to forget about her? I guess you'll have to truly answer those questions and things will be a lot clearer from there. When I stopped liking someone (my 1st crush) I knew I had to get over him but I didn't want to. That made things more difficult. So to help you heal, you'll have to answer those two questions.

about my work, I think I'm still procrastinating and maybe being a little too hard on myself. I planned to have things finished by today due to my schedule which involved homework for two consecutive weeks with no breaks. But I'm not going along with that schedule. I don't even know why I cramed things like that. I guess I wanted to show that I can finish all my work as quickly as i did last summer (I finished all my homework by july 7 last year) And I guess I was just trying to impress, you know, finishing all my work so quickly. But its so stupid because there is no one to impress. And I'm trying so hard to stick to the schedule that its making me tried and making me hate my summer. I guess i should just space things out and give myself more time to do work and give myself time to relax. I know I'm complaining too much because I know people work more and harder than me. I mean look at you, you work insane hours with no breaks. But you said you like doing your job right? I'm glad the work you do is fun for you. School work is just so boring and augh -_____________-"

I got her number and I'm probably going to call her right after this. I really don't want to drive to the mall. I'm not ready. I'm going to hit a car when I park and when I reverse.

That's cool you got to hang with eta. And the conference sounds fun. I hope you have a good time. And no nothing fun has happened XD Its been homework, or at least trying to do it But hopefully, I'll have fun towards the end of this week.

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sorry this is delayed...i had to work 8hrs on sat nd then i went to a bbq nd got home late...then today (sun) i had to go to church nd then ash came over...so anyway yeah music helps me cope with things ALOT...drawing not as much...for example this weekend at the bbq when felix hit me with a ball in the face nd my grandpa got drunk...i went into the other room nd sat in front of a piano nd just played...it felt really gud...i like having my grandparents live with me but i hate it wen my grandpa gets drunk...its soo embarassing in front my family friends...nd hez a totally different person nd i am slowly losing respect for him...i know thats bad but its sooo hard for me to tolerate idk y...i guess one gud thing that came out of his drinking is that it keeps me away from alcohol/drugs...(if u didn guess this was my problem of the weekend)

so anyway...it was very hard for me to use ur method of forgetting some1 b/c i was with her most of the weekend...nd even when i was alone, i couldn't think of anything shez ever done bad to me...like iv told u, shez one of the nicest ppl i know (don't worry ur still the first)...anyway maybe something will come to me...the only time shez evr hurt me was wen i told her how i felt...nd that wasn't her fault...so idk...

so i hope u got some of ur work done that u had to nd not procrastinate...yeah the whole not having due dates makes it really hard to get enough motivation to do any work...but im sure ull get everything done with time to spare...

i think all parents are worried wen their kids start driving...nd they will always backseat drive no matter wat u say or do lol...but i know how annoying it is to be treated like that nd its frustrating but eventually u get past all those things i guess

so did u get her number?...i actually have not met anyone famous other than indian famous ppl cuz of my job with asha's dad...im sure ull get there on time nd ull see the dude...aw i hope u find some1 u can go with so ur not alone...im sure everything will be ok nd ull have a load of fun

lol this weekend i didn get any free time...but last week i did get sum lunch with eta...nd i was going to hang with kris but she ended up having to do something...but hopefully ill get to hang this week...i didn go anywhere nice lol...i dont have the time to...but in july there is this conference thing for my church in philly...im looking forward to it...actually i have alot of work to do for it so its actually kind of stressful...but i know ill have alot of fun there...cuz alot of my close friends will be there...so did u do anything fun lately?...anything new?...hows the family stuff going?...u been hanging with friends/cousins?

aww thanks I know its hard. But the way I cope with stuff like this is by listening to music. Just listen to some songs that express how you feel and relate to what you're going through. I think you should just let loose and sing along with it. At least you get it all out and it's pretty fun You could also draw or doodle how you feel. I mean it doesn't have to be serious art but it lets you have emotional catharsis. And one of the most important things is to talk everything out with anyone who will listen. Just don't keep things bottled up. Talk about it when it bothers you to your friends because I'm sure they'll make you feel better. Another way to quickly get over someone is . . . well before I tell you I just want you to know this wasn't my idea [one of my friends gave me this piece of advice when i was heart broken and i absolutely rejected it at first, but it could help] I know you'll probably dislike this idea as much as i did but think of the bad things she has done to you, how she has hurt you, or her own flaws. Yeah you'll probably say, she's never done anything mean to me and she is flawless (but ehh :/ this piece of advice helps one get over someone indefinitely) It took me a while to use this piece of advice, when I used it was when i was definatley over him. Any way those should help make things a bit easier.

yeah that's exactly how i feel. I want to finish this all so i can have fun over the summer. But I am so behind schedule. I haven't done my gov paper but i decided to save that for last because the news always changes and it requires a lot of thought and opinion on politics, which i lack D: I don't know if I'm leaving it for last because it requires more thought or I'm just avioding it. Any way I'm behind in bio by a chapter and english by a chapter. Why am i such a procrastinator DDDDDX >< Augh. do you think its just the fact that it's summer and there's no real due dates? I really hope its that and not me. Otherwise I've got some serious procrastination issues >_________<

I wake up early because my dad still wants me to practice when it's not that busy on the road because he thinks i'm inexperienced. I just wish he would stop treating me like that. It's like he's teaching me how to drive but I already know how to. I just need practice not driving lessons. It's getting so annoying.

It'd be cool if I was able to go with you. I'm asking everyone for her number. I'm trying to ask people who are a friend to her on facebook. No luck :/ So have you met anyone famous? This would be my first time. I'm not sure if it's going to happen. I mean I got the wristband to get in but I have to be a good enough driver to drive there and I don't wanna be by myself because it won't be as fun or exciting without a buddy. I hope it turns out okay

But enough about me, what about you. Did you get out of the house and hang out with any of your friends. Or did you go anywhere nice recently?

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aw im really sorry about ur family...but i hope things will get better...ill pray for you...aw u had ur first real filling...i had like 5 so i was it got better as it went along lol...thanks for the women advice...im gona try keeping it in mind...its just really hard...but i have to get past this...thanks for all the advice...

nd yes u are there for me...even though you dont think so...u always give amazing advice like from the last message...u tell me things in the nicest way possible...ur an amazing friend...this communicating is suckish but its the only thing we got so we gotta use it...

aw u have alot of work?...try to get it done so u can enjoy the summer...aw its seems like u had a lot of work planned for today...i hope u got it done...so y do wake up so early to practice driving?...lol yes im still a dropout...i haven't had a chance to go in and register

that is exciting news...i would go with u but obviously that wouldn't work because of ur parents...idk who u cud ask for adrianas number...vicky maybe?...aw ur driving?...thats fun...im sure ull do great nd everything will be ok